100 Word Challenge

By Anonymous -
Prompt:



My breath catches in my throat as I approach the site. Evidence spills out across the concrete, as a peculiar contraption lies shattered amongst it. A colourful disaster, a failed attempt. Curious, I edge closer. Fingers reach out to caress it’s smooth, reflective face. I feel a sharp edge dig into my gloves, and I wince, but continue. My feet carry me to the colourful array before me, and my knees give in to the ground. I cup it in my hands, turning it over and over in my palms. Turning away, I reach towards my toolkit and collect my evidence.

Comments

  1. Anonymous18 September 2017 at 15:04

    It has a really good hook and kinda sits with you for a moment after you've finished reading it. I enjoyed this short piece of writing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous18 September 2017 at 15:08

    This story is very descriptive and it hooks me right in! I love how you did show not tell.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous18 September 2017 at 15:12

    Hi Amisha,
    Your piece of writing gets the reader hooked in right away. Maybe you could describe the scene a bit more. Overall I loved reading your piece.
    Fahizah S

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous18 September 2017 at 15:15

    This is a very good piece of writing Amisha! Good show not tell!
    Masha

    ReplyDelete
  5. Unknown23 September 2017 at 01:52

    This is very strong writing Amisha. I like your use of present tense which gives the piece a realistic sense of immediacy.
    Jackie Cameron Team 100
    New Plymouth
    NZ

    ReplyDelete

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